Thursday, March 30, 2006

The New United States Constitution

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain
and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these
truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by
the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire
them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone --
not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably
always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional
couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would
be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want
you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but
we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of
idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where
you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever
you came from!


ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history
or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God.
And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any
faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN
GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and
nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about
time common sense is allowed to flourish.

Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you don't,
insensible people will.