Da evil midnight ranter what rants at midnight!

With toys like this, I could dare I say it TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!

2008-04-11T09:14:00.002-04:00

Poised on the very brink of unleashing global devastation (as long as there is no sizzling hot oil or unemployed peelers about) *as usual, click on the pic to "embiggidee" :)

Don't buy the lie......

2008-01-29T17:10:00.001-05:00

As always, click on it to "embiggityfye" yo........

Somewhere my Mother is smiling all over herself about that Longhorn hat.

2007-08-23T13:06:00.000-04:00

Pure Energy

2007-07-26T09:58:00.001-04:00

"Captain, sensors now indicate that it is time to throw your hands in the air, and wave them as if there were absolutely no repercussions whatsoever."

"Honest your Honor, It WASN'T me!!"

2007-04-13T05:05:00.000-04:00

I want to make sure that there is NO question that I had absolutely NOTHING to do with this.

With any luck, 26 yr. old Hao Kuo Chi will be making his own "shower video" in jail soon enough.

Serves the little perv right, he'd better hope for his sake that somebody still makes "soap on a rope".

Happy Easter EvahBuddah!!

2007-04-08T14:55:00.000-04:00

Somewhere, many Angels are smiling :)

(As usual, just click on the pic to "embiggidify" it, yo)

Wesley Autrey, Veteran, Father, American HERO

2007-01-03T10:05:00.000-05:00

Wesley Autrey, Construction worker, Vietnam Veteran, Father. You can now add one more to the top of the list. AMERICAN HERO. I regret that it's not in my power to bestow the Presidential Medal of Freedom on your deserving shoulders, for you unselfishly leapt onto an active subway track to save a complete stranger with no consideration for your own safety. I hope they throw you a parade, for you are the exactly the kind of American example I hope my children grow to emulate.

May God Bless you and yours.

(pictured in hospital, Cameron Hollopeter, had a seizure of unknown origin which caused him to convulse, then fall onto the tracks of an oncoming train)

Impressive Software, isn't it Mr. Gates?

2006-12-19T09:51:00.000-05:00

For anybody out there who hasn't started using Firefox as their browser, maybe THIS will help convince you. (if you stick around long enough, bill gates will browse by, stab this kitten and then give it a virus) if you'd like to try the 'fox, lower right of this page is the "take back the web" icon, hit it and quit it (Internet Explorer that is)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE, BE SAFE OUT THERE!!

2006-10-31T10:06:00.000-05:00

Pimptacularly Pimpalicious!!

2006-10-10T12:49:00.000-04:00

Tell me that ain't a pirate smile!

Now THIS is a cute bebah!

2006-10-04T21:15:00.000-04:00

RESPECT MY AUTHORI TAH!

2006-09-22T03:53:00.000-04:00

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, I'm SO wasted!

Just Cuz, Steve and grandson Adam

2006-09-10T09:20:00.000-04:00

Give him back the hat kid, he needs it worse than you do, lol.

SEMPER FI (and why every American should know what that means)

2006-08-15T08:41:00.000-04:00

NEW YORK -- For years, authorities wondered about the identity of a U.S. marine who appeared at the World Trade Center on 9/11, helped find a pair of police officers buried in the rubble, then vanished. The producers of the new movie, World Trade Center, couldn't locate the mystery man who gave his name only as Sgt. Thomas. Then Jason Thomas, of Ohio, saw a TV commercial for the movie a few weeks ago. His eyes widened as he saw two marines with flashlights, hunting for survivors atop the smouldering ruins. "That's us. That's me!" thought Thomas, who now works as an officer in Ohio's Supreme Court. Thomas, 32, emerged last week to recount the role he played in the rescue of Port Authority police officers Will Jimeno and Sgt. John McLoughlin.

Thomas, who had been out of the Marine Corps about a year, was dropping his daughter off at his mother's Long Island home when she told him planes had struck the towers.
He retrieved his old uniform, sped to Manhattan and arrived just a tower collapsed. "I didn't even have a plan," he said. "But I have all this training as a marine, and all I could think was, "My city is in need."
Thomas bumped into another ex-marine, Staff Sgt. David Karnes, and the pair decided to search for survivors.
Carrying little more than flashlights and an infantryman's shovel, they climbed the mountain of debris, skirting dangerous crevasses and shards of red-hot metal, calling out "Is anyone down there? United States Marines!"
It was dark before they heard a response. The two crawled into a deep pit to find McLoughlin and Jimeno, injured but alive.
Thomas returned to help for two more weeks, then walked away and tried to forget.
Thomas said he is becoming more comfortable telling his story. "It's been like therapy."

(this was compiled from several wire service reports. This ex-marine is now humbly being pushed into the limelight in view of the upcoming movie about the WTC.)

*sidenote* Sgt. Thomas is portrayed by a white actor in the WTC movie, Thomas' comment was basically "let's not make that an issue" (I bet the producers of the movie are FREAKING out, which they deserve, the fucking idiots, lol...I mean, come ON, like jesse jackson and al sharpton need another reason to camera-whore)

All I can say is, I want Sgt. Jason Thomas to know that his heroic action exemplifes what our country stands for, and that we ALL owe he and his fellow servicemen and women, our unwavering gratitude.

Semper Fidelis OOH RAH

DEAR ISLAM, FUCK YOU SINCERELY, ME

2006-08-11T17:30:00.000-04:00

For American Soldiers in Iraq, God Bless you and keep you until you can come home.

2006-06-26T09:33:00.000-04:00

Mere words are incapable of describing how proud I am of our soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan and around the world. Thank you for all of your sacrifices. We should all work harder to raise our children to be worthy Americans, for a high price has been paid for their freedom.

This makes a great desktop background, lol

2006-06-05T08:13:00.000-04:00

I'm sure everyone out there in bloggityblog land can damn sure identify w/ this here muv, lol. (and as usual, click on the pic to "embiggidyfy" yo)

Happy Memorial Day America!

2006-05-29T09:53:00.000-04:00

This photo is of Pearl Harbor survivor Houston James of Dallas, Tx. and Marine Staff Sgt. Mark Graunke Jr. when they met during a Veterans Day event in Dallas a few years back. I was always struck by Staff Sgt. Graunkes countenance in this picture, as if he was slightly embarrassed to receive such gratitude from a WWII veteran. I hope every veteran out there has somebody run up to them and "embarrass" them a little, with a hug or a kiss and a "Thank you very much". My thanks to all who serve or have served this great country of ours. Thank you for your sacrifices, for protecting our freedoms, and for representing all of us so gracefully. I hope you feel a great swell of pride today, and every day, for we all owe our servicemen and women a great deal of gratitude. For those who'd to be more proactive, click here to write or donate.

Some more ideas about "tightening our security"

2006-05-25T10:24:00.000-04:00

(click on the pic to "biggenate it")

This outta just about settle any arguments!

2006-05-11T18:20:00.000-04:00

Lately, there have been many discussions about "illegals" in this great country of ours. Basically, I feel we should welcome everyone, tolerate each others differences, and all try to remember not to take everything so damn seriously. What has made OUR country great, has been the embrace of freedom to citizens and visitors alike. Let us never forget that.

NOW, they tell us!

2006-05-04T09:54:00.000-04:00

(if you click on it, it gets BIGGER)

Hey LADIES!! The new spring line of construction wear is here!!

2006-04-07T13:41:00.000-04:00

(whiskytangofoxtrot is not responsible for visual injury, temporary or permanent blindness, nor pain and suffering due to eye-gouging, cranial explosion, or gag-reflex)

The New United States Constitution

2006-03-30T18:05:00.000-05:00

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help

everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our

great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain

and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these
truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by
the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire
them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone --
not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably
always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional
couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would
be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want
you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but
we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of
idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of
Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where
you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever
you came from!

(lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history
or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God.
And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any
faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN
GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and
nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about
time common sense is allowed to flourish.

Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you don't,
insensible people will.

My kind of "Neighborhood Watch" Assoc.

2006-03-26T13:59:00.000-05:00

Now THIS is how to keep the peace during those periods of "civil unrest" when the poor, unfortunate, disenfranchised people out there think they might try to make off with your wide-screen television, or your kids G.I.Joe with the kung-fu grip.

Make sure you check out the article "How to blow up innocent people and blame it on a cartoon"

2006-02-16T11:21:00.000-05:00

This says it all for me today.

2006-01-13T02:39:00.000-05:00

The Gerber baby got NUTHIN' on me!!

2005-12-30T17:22:00.000-05:00

Well, as you can obviously tell, a wonderful time was had by all. Hope all of your Christmases were just as joyful and happy.

2005-12-26T12:05:00.000-05:00

Christmas SO totally rocks dude! (Thanks Grandpa!)

2005-12-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

How cool is this Christmas?? You tell me, yo.

2005-12-25T11:34:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas and God Bless us, every one.

2005-12-22T22:15:00.000-05:00

I post, therefore, I am.

2005-12-18T05:26:00.000-05:00

Think this face could sell some baby food?

2005-11-27T16:54:00.000-05:00

This is proof that we are all just spiritual beings having a human experience.

2005-11-06T11:06:00.000-05:00

Anybody know how I can keep him from growing up? I need to know NOW!

2005-11-03T18:28:00.000-05:00

Be prepared

2005-10-27T22:24:00.000-04:00

Hurricane Survival Kit

Toilet Paper........................................ check

Bud Light........................................... check

Keystone Ice........................................ check

Budweiser........................................... check

Red Dog............................................. check

Misc. other bottles of alcohol...................... check

Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on... check

We should all be this prepared.......

Preparation is the key to hurricane survival

2005-10-27T22:20:00.000-04:00

I've had enough.....

2005-10-09T13:09:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm fed up to my fucking eyeballs with people jumping on the "bash Bush" bandwagon. Now, please don't get me wrong. I certainly don't agree with everything that the President has said or done. I dislike the fact that he's another political child of priviledge, had a somewhat sketchy service record during the Vietnam era and is sometimes awful close to being just a plain-ass goofball.

But think about this long and hard, because to me, it's just plain undeniable.

He has served pretty damn well as the President of this country during the most trying of times since WWII. He has (no matter what the knee-jerk liberals say, including the media) instituted the will of the American people when it comes to the affairs of this country. First I get irritated, then usually I just laugh at the ignorance, whenever someone complains about "The Government". Like it's some nebulous entity out to get us all. I got news for the people that think that way......we ARE the Government you knuckleheads! Yes! All of us! That's the beauty of this country! If there are things we don't like about the laws we make or the way they're enforced, we can CHANGE them through the voting process. The problem is, most people who bitch and complain about the government are the same ones who take almost NO interest in the political process. Folks, If you don't like it, get out there and change it. It's the American way. At least it used to be.

Now, for just my opinion about New Orleans.....
SHUT
THE
FUCK
UP
YOU
WHINY
FUCKING
PUSSIES!
(and I certainly mean that in the most sincere, loving way)

You people have done nothing but expect everyone else to drop what they're doing and come and save your stupid asses, when you had plenty of advance warning to evacuate. Not even to mention, I'm sure the folks in Gulfport and Biloxi and fucking fed-up with hearing your sniveling cry-baby shit.

As I stated before, I'm not a Huge fan of President Bush, and I'm certainly NOT Republican. What I am is a realist, and the reality IS that if Bush had tried to enforce some "mandatory federal evacuation order" in the week before Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, the folks in Nawlins would have been SCREAMING that Bush is playing cowboy, or "Bush thinks he's Massa running the plantation slaves again" or some bullfuckingshit like that. And the fact that the race card has been played again and again in this is just PATHETIC.

Too many damn fine black men and women, suffered and endured, and then triumphantly overcame, hardships and ignorance and idiocy from others, so that ALL of us could reap the benefits of a truly integrated society. And for some blacks (notice I don't use "African-American", what a silly fucking term that is) to use the "Bush hates black people" and "If Katrina had hit an upscale white community, things woulda been different" excuse for their own lack of preparation is just an insult to the rest of us who have the ablilty for independent thought.

The blame for most, if not all of New Orleans' problems, lies in the fact that the city government fell on it's face pitifully, and then weakly tried to slide it off on Bush, with the help of some journalistic sensationalism (thanks CNN, you fucking twerps)

Remember people, we live in a whole different age now. Half of what you see on the news is presented solely for it's sensationalism, not for it's newsworthyness. Gone are the days of journalistic credibility. It's all about grabbing the average meatheads pathetically short, bong-resin filled attention span and keeping it long enough to try and sell some Viagra/Beer/Underarm Deodorant/Hair care products to the arm-chair knee-jerk boob-tube intellectuals who are gullible enough not to follow one of the oldest and wisest (in my humble opinion) theories in the known world.

"Never believe anything you hear, and only half of what you see"

And that goes DOUBLE for the internet folks.

2005-10-07T02:48:00.000-04:00

Call me crazy, but this is part of what I miss about living out west.

2005-09-28T15:33:00.000-04:00

Just couldn't help posting this pic of me and the little man. He's da baby, gotta love him!

This HAD to have been written by a man, lol

2005-09-07T06:57:00.000-04:00

(Click on the pic to make it bigger, ya chucklehead!)

I received this in an E-mail the other day from a ladyfriend of mine who has a terrific sense of humor when it comes to exactly this type of thing. I'm not sure what she was trying to point out to me, but the first thing that came to my mind was, "There's NO way this was written by a woman!", but then I got started thinking about the references I had for "goodwives" of that era.....June Cleaver, Marion Cunningham (Heyyyyyyy Mrs. C!) and a host of others......So I leave it up for discussion, Is it possible that women were "conditioned" to actually think this way?!

No wonder they started burning their bras in the 60's (which I think most men would say "Power to you sister, I love to see the boobies jiggle")

2005-08-29T18:11:00.000-04:00

Lillian Grace and Steve, (note deathgrip on dinosaur-shaped chicken nugget, just in case other small anthropoid-apelike creatures venture near)

2005-08-06T13:35:00.000-04:00

This is so Lish (Michelle) is proven absolutely right, lol....the artist that painted this, (35' in the air) also fauxed some marble arches that I DEFY anyone to be able to spot....girlfriend was that good, yo....

2005-07-10T10:27:00.000-04:00

Here's Gary going back upstairs to contemplate his shame. (He smiled today and I actually caught it on camera....there goes his reputation)

2005-07-10T10:24:00.000-04:00

Here's the next "project", a walnut radius stair (fortunately, it gets wrought iron handrail, yippee!) That's Gary the supercarpenter smiling for once (only cuz it was the end o' the day friday) This one is gonna be a little bit of a bear, but wait'll you see the pics when the treads are done, yo.

2005-06-25T04:38:00.000-04:00

Staircases can be fun to work on, but they can also be living effin' hell if they're not framed correctly to begin with. Can you guess which I had to work with? Can ya, huh? HUH?!

2005-06-25T04:30:00.000-04:00

This was a total tear-out/rebuild (original stair was built for carpet, ooops.....buyer wanted hardwood tread, cue inspirational music and dramatic entrance of "Super Carpenter"...lol)

2005-06-25T04:28:00.000-04:00

Here's a pic of what's been keeping me from blogging mo' regular.

Hey Joe, where you going with that stupid in your head?

2005-06-05T14:19:00.000-04:00

Dem. Senator Joe Biden "thinks" we should shut down the military prison at Gitmo because it's become a "terrorist propaganda tool", among other things.
Taken from yahoo news:

The chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, GOP Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, plans hearings this month on the treatment of foreign terrorism suspects at the prison camp.

Biden, the top Democrat on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, proposed that an independent commission take a look at Guantanamo and make recommendations.

"But the end result is, I think we should end up shutting it down, moving those prisoners," he told ABC's "This Week."

"Those that we have reason to keep, keep. And those we don't, let go."

He added, "I think more Americans are in jeopardy as a consequence of the perception that exists worldwide with its existence than if there were no Gitmo."

There are about 540 detainees at Guantanamo Bay. Some have been there more than three years without being charged with a crime. Most were captured on the battlefields of Afghanistan in 2001 and 2002 and were sent to Guantanamo Bay in hope of extracting useful intelligence about the al-Qaida terrorist network.

HEY JOE "FUCKHEAD" BIDEN!

HERE'S THE "REASONS" TO KEEP THEM YOU FUCKING DOLT!

1) So they don't blow up any more schools, churches, innocent men, women and children, policemen, military or anybody else in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Kurdistan, Blogistan or ANYWHERE else in the world.

2) So that any information that could possibly be put to use to slow, hinder, cripple, shatter or apprehend anyone in Al-Qaida or any other terrorist organization could be extracted, HOWEVER long it takes.

3) Contrary to what you "think" Joe, there will be alot more Americans in jeopardy if these fanatics are cut loose to go out and start creating havoc again. I would MUCH rather have those fuckers languishing in a "gulag" prison at Gitmo than have them sneaking around my kids elementary school with a bomb, you daffy fucking mutt.

4) As far as I'm concerned, they deserve the worst treatment that Gitmo has to offer, and here's why.

They do not want a fair and equitable system of government.

They do not want women to be considered as equals, with the respect due an equal.

They do not wish to allow different religious beliefs to be given opportunity to flourish.

They do not wish to assimilate any cultural or ethnic diversity or have any tolerance for differing viewpoints.

They would just as soon eradicate all of us without a second thought, so as far as I'm concerned Gitmo is too good for 'em.

They should just be glad we didn't send 'em to Canada.

2005-05-30T12:42:00.000-04:00

Sunset, Sunday before Memorial Day. Happy Memorial Day to all, and my deepest thanks to all the American Servicemen and Women who have served the cause of freedom both here and around the world.

Hey, I been busy!

2005-05-19T05:19:00.000-04:00

In case anybody out there in bloggyville has missed me, It's not like I'm ignoring my blog duties on purpose, lol. Here are some pics of a recent installation ( I just picked up this millwork co. and they build a nice product) that I'd thought I'd share w/ anybody who gave a shit, lol.

2005-05-19T05:18:00.000-04:00

Center/Right section, note pin lights and glass shelves, Kitchen is directly right of this elevation, hence the reason for a serious articulating extension arm to swing the plasma tv out for viewing from da kitchen!

2005-05-19T05:14:00.000-04:00

Left section of home ent/media center. Huge (and I mean HUGE) plasma tv will hang on articulating extension arm above fireplace. Columns on each side of mantle slide out for cd/dvd/video storage. Note sw/ for fireplace left of second small pilaster above countertop.

Too fuck to drunk

2005-05-01T06:29:00.000-04:00

Sorry for all the confusion (especially you, Becca) involving the Plutonian space language on a few of the last posts....It seems that some pesky earth creature had stolen the Illudium Q-36 explosive space mod-u-la-tor and there was no loud, earth-shattering kaboom. Okay, actually what really happened is that I was fuck as drunk last time I posted and in the drop down box where it says "font", I in my happy,fuzzy-wuzzy haze, madly tippity typiting didn't realize I had selected "webdings" as the Goddamn font. For some reason Firefox doesn't recognize that font (which says something right there in itself...a browser that's smart enough not to recognize a totally useless fucking gibberish font??? Tell me that ain't the shit right there!) So, I had to dust off the old rustbucket Internet Explorer and teeter off to the old blog and lo and behold, what do I see but a bunch of goofy looking shit where my wonderful, heavily alcohol-influenced words should be. NOW I understand what Becca was pissed off about....nobody should have to spend time deciphering some idiots work who's too stupid or drunk to operate the dreaded font drop-down box correctly!!

So Becca, I apologize for being a knucklehead (also, when I edited the post back to a recognizable language, I lost the posts that were attached..GRRRRrrrrrrrr) and I promise to "endeavor to persevere"....hmmm, last time I heard that phrase it meant that the Apache were gonna make war on some unlucky white folk, lol.

I gotta go start driving my wagon in a circle yo...see you all later.

It's been awhile......

2005-05-01T06:21:00.000-04:00

Wow, I almost forgot how to login and actually post on this damn thing, lol.

Hi to everybody out there on the info-tainment superhighway cruising by, it's been a couple o' weeks since I sat down and tippy-typed on the ol' keyboard, so bear with me.

Ever since Morgan was born, I have been in such a state of euphoria that nothing and I mean NOTHING has been able to piss me off (which is a great thing, believe me...the ten yr. old has tried) until I was cruising an IRC site and discovered that LOTS of people were leaving anti-American comments. Now, these are probably all youngsters (you know, teenagers that know everything) and so I kind of discount most of their blithering, but it does kinda get my hackles up.

You would just have to be some kind of fucking idiot not to recognize what the United States of America has done not just for the entire free world, but for the entire world PERIOD.

Yes, we have situations in our history that we aren't proud of, from the imposition of "manifest destiny" onto the American Indian, through slavery and the civil war, up through de-segregation and civil-rights, and a few other global "oopsies" like the Bay of Pigs invasion and Vietnam among others.

But what other country has done so much for the greater good of the world? France? Canada??

From WWI, through WWII, through the cold war years and the fall of communism (except for China and Cuba, gooooo team Castro!) and now through the NASA years (tip of the hat to the Russians for contributing as much as they have with such limited resources) and now the liberation of the Iraqi people. (By the way, where have all the anti-war protesters gone??? I swear Michael Moores face outta be on a milk carton by now).

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling a little patriotic lately (more than usual, lol). Every time I look down at my beautiful little 3wk. old son, there is a swell of pride and a rush of thanks to Almighty God that my family and I live in this great country, free to live and think and speak as we please, within the limits of the peoples law.

So, if you're reading this and you're Canadian, I'm sorry. If you're reading this and you're French, you can put your arms down. If you're American and you're reading this, thank God.

Thank you.

Da Boyz!!

2005-04-15T11:17:00.000-04:00

Here's "Da Boys"..I swear, it's impossible for Josh to take a bad picture, lol. Oh, and the reason Morgan is screaming is he just saw a promo for ashlee simpsons "emp-tee-vee" show....why can't she think of the children??

Pootwaddle has his own photoblog now, too!

2005-04-14T18:43:00.000-04:00

Here is the link to the photoblog for the baby, just in case you weren't bored with baby pictures just yet, lol.

2005-04-12T18:51:00.000-04:00

Josh and his new baby bubba, who we've already nicknamed "pootwaddle"

2005-04-12T18:11:00.000-04:00

Morgan Arthur, born 4/10/05

2005-04-12T18:09:00.000-04:00

Look at them guitar playin fingers!!

WE'VE GOT BABY!!

2005-04-11T05:53:00.000-04:00

Blogger went and lost the first one of these so I'm gonna make it short and sweet. grrrrrrrr

My girl is SO the shit, yo!

Morgan Arthur *got here a lil' bit early* on Sunday April 10th, 2005 at 12:49 p.m. w/o the aid of an epidural or any other pain meds (right now, the "legend of Tina" is rapidly growing amongst the nurses on the maternity floor, half of em' are preggy themselves) I overheard one of the delivery nurses telling her buddy, "she was laughing and smiling w/ me at 8 centimeters, at 9 she says, "I think I need to push now" *insert stunned as hell nurse look here*

Evidently, the modern medical profession is NOT used to having a woman who eschews pain meds in favor of "natural childbirth".....evidenced by the fact that every few seconds someone poked their head in the door and asked about "the epidural" (my girl is SO the shit)

Anyways, the boy was a couple 'o weeks early, so she may be in till Tuesday. But he was 6lbs. 11 1/2 oz and 22 inches long. Blond hair (no red, thank GOD) loooong slender guitar-playing fingers and long slender toes, and a pecker like a tree-trunk, lol. (of course, momma smiled up at me and said "he's just like his daddy", but even I gotta admit..... he stole that from somewhere else, lol)

Paying the cost of freedom. (Transcript of President Bush at the Congressional Medal of Honor presentation ceremony)

2005-04-05T10:10:00.000-04:00

THE PRESIDENT: Good afternoon and welcome to the White House. Today is a special occasion: We are here to pay tribute to a soldier whose service illustrates the highest ideals of leadership and love of our country.

Sergeant First Class Paul Ray Smith, of Florida, gave his life for these ideals in a deadly battle outside Baghdad. It is my great privilege to recognize his extraordinary sacrifice by awarding Sergeant Smith the Medal of Honor.

I appreciate Secretary Don Rumsfeld joining us today; Secretary Jim Nicholson, of the Department of Veterans Affairs; Senator Carl Levin, Senator Bill Nelson, Senator Mel Martinez, Senator Johnny Isakson and Congressman Ike Skelton. Thank you all for joining us.

I appreciate Secretary Francis Harvey, Secretary of the Army; General Dick Myers, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; General Pete Pace, Vice Chairman; General Pete Schoomaker, Chief of the Army.

I want to thank the Medal of Honor recipients who have joined us today: John Baker, Barney Barnum, Bernie Fisher, Al Rascon and Brian Thacker. Honored you all are here.

I appreciate the family members who have joined us today. Thank you all for coming: Birgit Smith, his wife; Jessica Smith; David Smith; Janice Pvirre, the mom; Donald Pvirre, stepfather, and all the other family members who have joined us. Welcome.

I appreciate Chaplain David Hicks, for his invocation. I want to thank Lieutenant Colonel Tom Smith, for joining us, who was Paul Smith's commander. I particularly want to welcome soldiers from the 3rd Infantry Division, Paul's unit in Iraq.

The Medal of Honor is the highest award for bravery a President can bestow. It is given for gallantry above and beyond the call of duty in the face of enemy attack. Since World War II, more than half of those have been awarded this medal gave their lives in the action that earned it. Sergeant Paul Smith belongs to this select group.

The story of Paul Smith is a story of a boy transformed into a man and a leader. His friends and family will tell you that he joined the Army in 1989, after finishing high school. When he joined the Army, he was a typical young American. He liked sports, he liked fast cars, and he liked to stay out late with his friends -- pursuits that occasionally earned him what the Army calls "extra duty." (Laughter.) Scrubbing floors. Two things would change Paul's life and lead him to the selfless heroism we honor today. The first would come when he was stationed in Germany and fell for a woman named Birgit Bacher. It turns out that Paul had a romantic streak in him: On the first night he met her, Paul appeared outside Birgit's window singing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling." (Laughter.) In 1992, the two married, and soon, a young soldier became a devoted family man who played T-ball with his son and taught his daughter how to change the oil in his Jeep Cherokee.

Second great change in Paul's life would come when he shipped off to Saudi Arabia to fight in the first Gulf War. There the young combat engineer learned that his training had a purpose and could save lives on the battlefield. Paul returned from that war determined that other soldiers would benefit from the lessons he had learned.

Paul earned his sergeant's stripes and became known as a stickler for detail. Sergeant Smith's seriousness wasn't always appreciated by the greener troops under his direction. Those greener troops oftentimes found themselves to do tasks over and over again, until they got it right. Specialist Michael Seaman, who is with us today, says, "He was hard in training because he knew we had to be hard in battle." Specialist Seaman will also tell you that he and others are alive today because of Sergeant Smith's discipline.

That discipline would be put to the task in a small courtyard less than a mile from the Baghdad airport. Sergeant Smith was leading about three dozen men who were using a courtyard next to a watchtower to build a temporary jail for captured enemy prisoners. As they were cleaning the courtyard, they were surprised by about a hundred of Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard.

With complete disregard for his own life and under constant enemy fire, Sergeant Smith rallied his men and led a counterattack. Seeing that his wounded men were in danger of being overrun, and that enemy fire from the watchtower had pinned them down, Sergeant Smith manned a 50-caliber machine gun atop a damaged armor vehicle. From a completely exposed position, he killed as many as 50 enemy soldiers as he protected his men.

Sergeant Smith's leadership saved the men in the courtyard, and he prevented an enemy attack on the aid station just up the road. Sergeant Smith continued to fire until he took a fatal round to the head. His actions in that courtyard saved the lives of more than 100 American soldiers.

Scripture tells us, as the General said, that a man has no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends. And that is exactly the responsibility Paul Smith believed the Sergeant stripes on his sleeve had given him. In a letter he wrote to his parents but never mailed, he said that he was prepared to "give all that I am to ensure that all my boys make it home."

On this day two years ago, Sergeant Smith gave his all for his men. Five days later, Baghdad fell, and the Iraqi people were liberated. And today, we bestow upon Sergeant Smith the first Medal of Honor in the war on terror. He's also the first to be awarded this new Medal of Honor flag, authorized by the United States Congress. We count ourselves blessed to have soldiers like Sergeant Smith, who put their lives on the line to advance the cause of freedom and protect the American people.

Like every one of the men and women in uniform who have served in Operation Iraqi Freedom, Sergeant Paul Smith was a volunteer. We thank his family for the father, husband and son and brother who can never be replaced. We recall with appreciation the fellow soldiers whose lives he saved, and the many more he inspired. And we express our gratitude for a new generation of Americans, every bit as selfless and dedicated to liberty as any that has gone on before -- a dedication exemplified by the sacrifice and valor of Sergeant First Class Paul Ray Smith.

And now if his family would join me, please. Lieutenant Commander, please read the citation.

(The citation is read and the medal is presented.) (Applause.)

*whiskytangofoxtrot would like to add*
"I would like to recognize and thank every American serving in the United States Armed Services, along with their families and friends, for their hard work and sacrifice in the war against terrorism and oppression. Each of you are to be personally credited for stripping away the yoke of tyranny, and breathing life and hope into those who before knew only darkness.

May God Bless you all and speed you home to your loved ones."

2005-04-02T10:05:00.000-05:00

Don't fight it girls, just throw your panties on the stage.

2005-04-02T09:58:00.000-05:00

Now THAT'S my boy!!

DON'T BUY THE LIE, AMERICA!

2005-03-29T08:07:00.001-05:00

Okay, now I've freakin' HAD it. After hearing another moronic camera-whore expound his idiotic "thoughts" on Terry Schiavos husband, (for the millionth time) the rubber-band that holds in my venomous sarcastic streak, snapped in half like a lawnchair at Rush Limbaughs house.

When did the television news media just throw up their hands and say "Fuck it, don't even worry about reporting 'news', just get us some ratings!"

I'm reasonably sure that the founding fathers of this country crafted the First Amendment to protect FREE SPEECH, not to protect some fucking idiot from using mass media to SPECULATE "that Terry Schiavos husband wants her remains cremated quickly to prevent an autopsy that would show he strangled her 15 yrs. ago."

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I can easily understand how some jerkoff could have a wildly speculative "conspiracy theory". I can also understand (given the highly emotionally charged atmosphere surrounding her case) that there would be quite alot of news coverage about the case. What I cannot possibly understand is the way the networks are 'covering' this case. Doesn't it bother you when you feel like you're being spoon-fed information 'bytes' designed specifically just to hold your attention? Does this type of "news" reporting offend anyone else, or is it just me? It's getting to where I can't even stand to read a newspaper, much less watch the "news" on the boob tube. Seriously listen to the tone and content of these so-called 'newspeople' and you'll begin to feel like you're watching a penny arcade puppet show.

It's called "sensationalistic journalism" folks, and it's brought to you by all those "marketing majors" you went to college with. You remember them don'tcha? A little too smart not to go to college, but too damn lazy to get a degree in something they actually had to work for. They're the ones that are partially to blame for our sad, sad, state of affairs nowadays.

You see, almost everything we do nowadays, is tracked and recorded by a 'marketing survey' of some kind. Every google search term, every story clicked on any online news source or website, even blog entries are subject to "marketing searches". It's all being kept track of people.
I'll give you a prime example. How does a no-talent like Ashlee "dimwit" S!mpson even begin to have a career, when musicians and singers w/ TEN times her talent barely earn enough to survive playing in bars and clubs?

SURVEEEEEEY SAYS?! *DING* FORCED MARKETING!

This daffy little bitch has her own television show! Granted, it's only on EMP-TY-V, which isn't exactly CNN, but It scares the shit outta me when I envision how many kids in this country are being 'brainwashed' by that pathetic no-talent skank. Of course she's not the first 'pre-manufactured pop-slut-du-jour', nor will she be the last. But I'll be damned if my kids won't know that Jessica Simpson is a joke compared to Aretha Franklin, or why Bob Dylan and John Hiatt are two of the most covered songwriters ever. (Reason: neither is known for being a 'singer', but man can they WRITE a song that blazes right through your "outer bullshit", to get right into the center of your being). But, nowadays very few record labels (record? whaddat?) would dare to take a chance on somebody based on talent alone. The Marketing Dept. says they gotta have a certain "look" too.

So, lets just list a few of the bands/musicians that changed rock music as we know it, but couldn't get signed in this day and age because they "didn't test well in the marketing survey assigned to their demographic"

1) The Beatles: "two frontmen are terrific, lead guitarist okay, but drummer might as well be replaced with drunken muppet"

2) The Mamas and the Papas: "great harmonies but catering bill would be astronomical unless label purchased stock in pork futures and tie-dyed t-shirts"

3) Bob Dylan: "hire immediately for songwriting ability, destroy every vocal microphone in studio or else"

4) Pink Floyd: "shows potential but actually tested BELOW negative w/ anyone who has ever heard of hip-hop"

5) Janis Joplin: "GREAT voice, face hit by train, recommended only for commercial jingles and voice-overs for liquor ads"

6) Jimi Hendrix: "tests high w/ white males, over the TOP w/ white females, but curiosly very low amongst black people surveyed, only exception being black males who listed their current profession as "drug dealers"

See what I'm gettin' at? The blind pursuit of the almighty dollar has fucking RUINED music. Ruined any chance of un-biased news coverage, and turned television into one huge game of copy-cat copy-cat (think "mtv's real world", which begat "survivor" which begat clone after clone of "reality" schlock)

So, as you all can tell, I am sick and fucking tired of having all this pre-manufactured, pre-processed, cookie-cutter, snappy sound-byte, tailor-made for a specific 'demographic' shit being shoveled in my direction.

We're being spoon-fed HORSESHIT people, and it's time to start spitting it back in somebodys face!!

I'm whiskytangofoxtrot, and I approved this message.

Things NOT to say to an 8th month pregnant female

2005-03-24T11:14:00.000-05:00

In my strenuously unchauvanistical pro-feministical ("You're a feminist? That's SO cute!") search for equality amongst the sexes, you can find a rather scathing (If I do say so myself, she's losing her sunny dispostition) retort here.

These are all rated on the "you bastard, YOU did this to me" scale:
1) Security threat level "yellow"
Eyeroll: you know that look guys, the look that says "just shut the fuck up, you dumb-ass hairy-backed, knuckle-draggin, cave-painting, troglodyte son-of-a-bitch"

2) Security threat level "Orange"
Lazer eyes: the look that screams "if looks could kill, you'd be a big steamin' pile of goo right now, you prick"

3) Security threat level "RED"
Total silence and calm stare: This is the one that scares me the worst....it tells me that she is not only seriously contemplating my demise, but is just trying to figure out how she's gonna dispose of my remains. Fortunately so far, this look has only resulted in lumps on my noggin, but the closer she gets to having this baby, the more she's losing her sunny disposition.

So w/o futher ado, here's the list of things NOT to say to a preggy female a few weeks away from giving birth...........(i've got the lumps to prove it)

1) "Take all the time you need to get into the car honey, I'm reading the new swimsuit issue."
*orange*
2) "Wow honey, I never noticed how 'squishy' your butt feels."
*orange*
3) "Sheesh baby, you sure are fucking MOODY today."
*RED RED RED*
4) "Hey, why don'cha waddle on off into the kitchen and make some dinner?"
*orange*
5) "On your way home, can you stop and pick me up some more Jim Beam and some smokes?"
*yellow*
6) "Hey, the new neighbors just moved in and boy is the wife a real looker!"
*yellow*
7) "But honey, walking like a penguin makes you look adorable"
*orange*
8) "Jeez honey, those shorts sure make your ass look fat"
*orange/red*

and lastly,
9) "Don't you think you've had enough chocolate for today honey?"
*red Red RED!!!"

(that's the one that earned me my scars, lol...like I said, she's lost her sunny disposition)

A Time to Kill

2005-03-21T22:49:00.000-05:00

I'm tired. Fed the fuck up to the eyeballs tired. Take a look at the picture of Jessica Lunsford below and then tell me why I shouldn't wanna disassemble the miserable scrap of filth who abducted her, sexually assaulted her tiny body, and then killed her, burying her lifeless little body in the dirt.

I believe in Almighty God. I believe in Jesus Christ. I know that "revenge is mine sayeth the Lord". But when I think of what that miserable piece of shit did to that innocent little girl, the devil in me makes my blood boil.

I actually hope he lives long enough to be given the death penalty, but I doubt that his days of surviving in prison are gonna be very many. See, the one thing that felons WILL NOT abide....is child molesters. Every man in the prison system has a child of their own. Or a neice or a nephew. And while they may take an animalistic view of perpetrating crimes on others, children are pretty much off limits. So there IS some honor among thieves, after all.

Hopefully, this human piece of trash will be taken out of solitary and put in general pop.

Thrown to the fucking wolves.

I hope the human shitstain is terrified at the thought.

And boy oh boy, does God have a surprise in store for him, too.

2005-03-21T22:45:00.000-05:00

"We'll miss you, Angel"

No sex for YOU!

2005-03-19T11:50:00.000-05:00

One evening last week, my wife & I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not enough in touch with my financial needs as a man for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

It's Funny Caption Friday!

2005-03-11T07:50:00.000-05:00

Okie dokey, it's "who's got the best giggler" day here at muppet labs....so let'r rip ya'll.

2005-03-11T05:31:00.000-05:00

Since there seems to be a few more women than men out there in the blogosphere (in my single days, I would have been thrilled to have such a "target friendly environment", filled w/ funny, intelligent women. Sheeesh, where the hell were all of you when I needed ya? lol) here's one for you ladies to play "funny caption friday", keep it somewhat clean, and we'll determine the winner by "mob rules".

2005-03-11T05:29:00.000-05:00

Ummm...I SHOULD have something terribly clever and witty for this pic, but I hate to admit I got nothin', lol. So today's game is "funniest caption contest", winners to be determined by mob rules, lol.

2005-03-09T23:58:00.000-05:00

Steve McQueen, NOW WHO'S HE?!

2005-03-08T08:26:00.000-05:00

The Pimpalicious, Pimptacular, Pimpin'perpetrator, of Pimperfectional Pimptitude! My 'hot,spankable,milf-bot' and 'da kid' with the biggest f'ing snake i've ever seen up close. She loves them critters, I would rather kill it than look twice, lol.

2005-03-07T01:58:00.000-05:00

Just in case anyone wondered what the sexy piece of "mancandy" who types this craptacular mongrelization of worditude(tm) looks like, lol (btw, any bloggers who haven't downloaded Picasa, you should. It's free and it eff'ing works GREAT!)

2005-03-07T01:52:00.000-05:00

GOT to love this pic, A smile any mother would love, and the hair just FUCKED UP to be damned!!! LOL, ain't kids great?

I RULE!!

2005-03-04T04:25:00.000-05:00

If I ruled the world things would be just a little different:

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward to her real number (and her hot sisters, too)

Nodding and looking at your watch would be a perfectly acceptable anwer to "honey, I love you"

Hallmark would make "what was your name again, I was busy checking out your tits" cards

When your girlfriend really needed you for something during a game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner during a time out

Breaking up would be much, much easier
A quick smack on the ass and a, "great hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would be fine

4 words: Milk Chocolate Birth Control

The funniest person in the office would get to be CEO

If she lets you pay for the entire dinner, by law, she'd have to a least give you a handjob

"Sorry I'm late, but I got totally hammered last night" would be a perfectly acceptable excuse for being late to work.

You couldn't open a beer without every hot chick in the room eyeing you like a puppy looking at a pork chop

It'd be considered harmless fun to get 50 of your friends together, put on horned helmets, and plunder and pillage a local town

You could rent a tank as long as you held a valid credit card

Garbage would take itself out

Instead of a beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps"

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could buy the wife-to-be a 60'' plasma TV

Valentines Day would be moved to Feb.29th so it would only occur in leap years

Two Words: Ally McNaked

On Groundhog Day if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking

St.Patricks day would stay the exactly the same, however, it would be celebrated every month

"Cops" would be broadcast live so you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops, or to the bad guys if you prefer

Regis, Kathie Lee and Oprah would all be chained to a cement mixer, and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the largest pay-per-view event in history

The only shows competing with "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a different camera angle"

MLB games would have cheerleaders and the "seventh inning stretch" would become the "seventh inning wet t-shirt contest"

Everybody gets four Get-out-of-jail-free cards a year

Faucets would run "hot", "cold" and "90 proof"

Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style

It would be perfectly legal to steal a car as long as you returned it the next day with a full tank of gas

Telephones would automatically disconnect after 30 seconds

Ashlee Simpson would be clubbed like a baby seal and then put in a tiger cage with "Montecore"

It would be legal to use paintball guns to hunt the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guys"

Instead of flying "first class" or "coach", you could choose to fly "F-16"

Only American-made cars would be allowed on U.S. interstates

using "ebonics" in any form would get you sprayed with a fire hose

"Casual Friday" would be changed to "Topless Friday"

Alex Trebek and Ben Stein would compete against each other on a gameshow called "Loser gets tied to a pole in the middle of a driving range"

Instead of a "verbal reprimand", you'd get spanked by Pamela Anderson

and finally, in order to purchase thong underwear, I would have to give my personal seal of approval......."It's good to be the King"

YOU.MUST.READ.THIS.NOW!

2005-03-03T09:48:00.000-05:00

Elliot over at the sparewhiteguy has posted on the recent murders of U.S. District Judge Joan Humphrey Lefkows husband and her mother. Not only do I think everyone should go and read it, but I'm gonna start a grass-roots movement for SpareWhiteGuy for President in '08.

Kobe Schmoe-bee

2005-03-02T07:49:00.000-05:00

Stop the eff'ing presses people, it seems Kobe Bryant has .......*gasp!*

SETTLED OUT OF COURT!

"Say it ain't SO, Kobe?!"

Well ain't it just freakin' wonderful, mothers and fathers of America? Another high-profile athlete/celebrity has circumvented the legal process by dipping into their highly overcompensated wallets and making whatever the "problem du jour" was go away (albeit, in a brand new fully-loaded Mercedes, sporting a chunk of diamond that could straighten the hair on a Hasidic Jew). Great, just the kind of example I want my boys to absorb.

Now, it's too early in the morning for me to get wound up about anything, but this is the kind of shit that makes me friggen' crazy..... so here goes.

First of all, some daffy-ass talking-head sports commentators (read: former athletes who for some reason, no-one has ever told to just shut the fuck up because us intelligent people shouldn't have to be burdened with the "thoughts'' that clunk around in their empty fucking heads) was asked if we should "read anything into the fact that Kobe settled out of court".

These numbnuts replies were along the lines of, "blah blah blah, no, just because he settled, blah blah blah, no proof of guilt, blah blah blah, just avoiding the negative publicity, blah blah blah, still a good guy" etc.....

It was at this point that my head nearly exploded.

Now I'm no detective, but I know when I'm being jerked-off and told it was a blow-job.

people....People.....PEOPLE!!!

Paying somebody off to avoid ''negative publicity" is NOT what an innocent person does!!!

I explained it to my 10yr. old thusly, "Son, our last name was handed to me spotlessly clean by my father, who had received it spotlessly clean from his father, and his father before him. I have lived my life in such a way as to not dirty it or leave a black mark upon it. NOT ON MY WATCH. Just remember that when you are faced with a tough decision son, it'll help you to see your way clear someday."

I also explained to him that:
1) Honest people want all the facts to be heard, LOUDLY and for all to hear, so there is NO residue left clinging to their names. Dishonest people "use" the legal system to squash the truth, misrepresent the facts, and hide behind legal smoke and mirrors to snake their way through the law.
2) If you have to have more than one attorney represent you in a legal matter, you may have already "screwed the pooch" as far as keeping your name clean.
3) Your actions speak louder than your words, let them speak clearly and concisely so as to leave no misunderstandings.
4) Honest men accused of murder don't keep $10,000 in cash, a gun, and a disguise in their glovebox while "going out for a drive" to Mexico.
5) They also don't "promise to keep looking for the real killers" (when evidently the trail leads to golf courses all over South Florida).
6) They don't invite young boys to sleep over so that they can "gift" them millions of dollars in a few years.
7) They don't hire Johnny Cochran, unless of course you're Latrell Sprewell. (which somebody forgot to inform Latrell after the famous choking incident, "first you KILL P.J. Carlissimo, THEN you hire Johnny Cochran").
8) No matter what people "get away with" in this life, someday we will all face a court in which there is no way to hide from the justice we deserve. And ain't no lawyer gonna save your ass there. So live right and nothing or no-one will ever steal your sleep.

My boy seems to "get it", he has already shown that he is a champion of the underdog, a defender of those who are unable to defend themselves, the kind of kid who helps anybody that has a need. Believe me, I'd love to be able to take credit for it, but most of it comes from the very core of his skinny little mutt soul, lol.

I think our name is in good hands.

(It's just gonna take a few years for him to be able to fit into the tights and the cape, little fucker eats like a bird, lol)

Let's try this again, shall we?

2005-02-27T06:38:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm gonna try to do this "getting to know me" thing without the "got lost in thought, made a wrong turn and couldn't get back" stuff happening again.

Ok, let's see.....only child blah blah blah,
didn't see snow yadda yadda yadda,
alrighty......we now resume our regularly scheduled programming.
I'm normally a very happy and easy goin, laid-back kind of guy,
which is a very good thing, because I'm the size of most NFL defensive linemen....6'6'' and 315 or so. I never tore up my knees too bad, so don't let the size fool you, I'm still quicker than the average 10 yr. old..lol...at least MY 10yr. old. (Reminds me of the joke about the two guys walking through the woods who come across a grizzly bear, the one guys asks "can we outrun a grizzly bear"? The other replies "I don't have to outrun him, I just have to outrun YOU!")
The things that can turn me into a Very Large Angry White Male or *VLAWM* as is commonly referred to here in these parts are.....

Inconsiderate people. (one of my favorites....if you are the kind of prick who blindly goes through life fucking up everyone elses program because you are too self-involved to give a shit about anyone else, I will go OUT OF MY WAY to call you on it, IN PUBLIC, so that everybody who has had to endure your shit, will get a chance to hear you get your come-uppance. I LIVE to do that kind of shit, so keep it up mr. and mrs. dickhead, your day is coming fast.)

Rudeness....(see above)

Anyone who is mean or cruel to children, animals or the elderly. If you want to spank your child, Hell, even beat that ass right slap clean off the frame (which I had to do once to the 10yr. old when he was 9....but I haven't had to hardly raise my voice since then...hmmmm......lasting peace through superior firepower??? Could be) or get a little cranky with Mr. Crabtree down the street cuz he doesn't keep his big fucking droolin' ass marmaduke dog, who shits the size of a volkswagen outta yer yard, then by all means, go ahead.

But if you are the kind of guy who is in such a hurry, that he lays on his horn and scares the terrified shit outta somebodys little bitty hunched-over grandma as she tries to creep from the parking lot to the store in front of him. Then I will calmly block your car with my big ass American-made Chevy truck. Walk over to your imported POS fart-can trunk thumper and snatch your cocky little whigger punk ass up by the scruff of your neck, as the stark realization begins to dawn in your eyes, that you are about to get your ass fucking KICKED after I drag you into the store, IN FRONT of a shitload of people, and go find the little old lady (who didn't get far....she had the "little old lady 2inch step" thing just a scuttlin along...lol) and "coerce" an apology outta you before returning you to your car with the understanding you will never EVER do that shit again.
(I got a standing O for that one...lol....made me feel kinda silly, to tell you the truth. But I guess there are alot more people fed up with the day to day uncivility we live in nowadays than I realized)
I'm telling you, shit like that turns me into the poster boy for the fucking politeness police...lol

I'm also the guy you're gonna see on an overpass someday with a .50 cal full-auto browning mowing down idiots doing the speed limit in the fast lane on I-4......lol (man, just the THOUGHT of that makes me all happy in my pants!!!) YOU!! YOU IN THE FAST LANE!!!!.....MOVE THE FUCK OVER OR DIE!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (as I unload belt after belt of .50 cal ammo.....*sigh* good times...good times)

wow, I need to switch to decaf.....lol...that was too much fun on a Sunday morning.

Boy, did this get outta hand.

2005-02-24T22:56:00.000-05:00

Sorry it's been so long for an update, a procrastinators work is never done.

I really don't have anything bothering me at the moment so I thought I'd do one of those cool "getting to know me" thingys.

I was born in Ft.Worth Texas and grew up in Orlando, Fl.
Because of that, I didn't see snow until I was 36 and had moved to Amarillo, Tx.
I'm an only child, but I have 5 step-brothers and sisters.
I've buried alot of people in my lifetime. Both parents, my best friend way too young, two brothers who were like brothers to me (in the same accident) a very good friend from a brain embolism, and "Wild Bill" who was like a father to the whole crew of us and one of the sweetest, kindest men that ever took a breath. The worst one of all was my step-fathers mother, Marguerite. It makes this writing get all blurry just thinking about her now. Everybody should have that Grandmother who always has something cooking on the stove, won't let you say ''no thanks gramma, I already ate" no matter what, and giggles like a little kid when you love on her and tickle her. I swear, that woman never let ANYbody come into her home without feeding them something off the stove and a little sumpthin' sumpthin' she'd baked.

When I was younger and was a hotshot rock guitar player, she'd always ask me to play her a song. "Aw gramma, I don't know any country stuff" is what I always said. (back then, I HATED country, what did I know...Alison Krause was probably only 12 then) Of course, everytime granddaddy would hear me playing at mach5 through my amp, he'd always chide me with "got your radio stuck between stations again, didn'tcha''? (God, I miss him too)

But I never did play a song for her. Then.

I had moved around the country quite a bit in the past few years, so it took my step-sister a while to find me. When she was finally able to track me down, I was staying at a musician buddies house in Florida. The only words I remember from that conversation were, "Grandma is dying of cancer and she's asking for you". I got a little more of the particulars but I must have absorbed it through osmosis, because my mind was already racing through memories of Grandma. The one thing that stuck out in my mind was that the ONLY thing she'd ever asked of me, was to play her a song.

Do you know what shame feels like?

Tears were stinging my eyes as I wrote this down.

For Grandma,
I guess this is my only way, to tell you how much i'll miss you.
For all that you've been, and all that you've done, for me.
The wisdom that saved me, the love that you gave me.
Will comfort my soul, knowing that you have only begun.
And another angel joins those, who watch over me.
And I smile, just knowing that you, will always be near.
It won't be so hard to become the man i'm supposed to.
For the angels are guiding the path of my heart with their love.
And all of my words from now on, will carry your spirit.
I'll remember your laugh and your smile, as long as I breathe.
You showed me that the treasures of life, are only worth sharing.
And my greatest gift from now on, will be all of your love.

To this day, I can't write those words, much less sing them without choking up.

But I sang it for her as she lay there, hoping that she knew I was there through the painkillers the hospice nurse had given her. All I can hope is that somewhere, through the haze of pain and drugs, she'd heard HER song. I was sorry beyond words that it had taken so long to give her, what she'd so simply asked for. She deserved better from the likes of me.

(this wasn't what I started out to write, but i'm gonna post it before I lose my nerve and close the window)

Where have you gone, Joe Dimaggio?

2005-02-18T00:36:00.000-05:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PRO ATHLETES?

The modern professional athlete. What a joke. When I was a kid, athletes were the good guys. They were the guys that encouraged you to eat healthy, drink your milk, get plenty of rest and exercise, and to listen to your mom. Nowadays, Carmelo Anthony encourages you to beat the shit outta anybody who snitches out the local drug dealer. Nice, innit? Oh, and Ron Artest? Now that's what I want to teach my kids, If somebody "disrepects" you ("Punkass bitch threw ICE on me? I gots to kill a muthafucka now, boiiiiiiiii") attack EVERYBODY. Kobe Bryant? Where do I start? Latrell "the choker" Sprewell? If the coach is hard on you son, you don't have to listen to him, just strangle him. Then, wait a few years, and pitch a bitch about how hard it is to "feed your family" on $14,625,000. A year. Fucking spoiled, pampered, bitchy little pussies. When the NBA finally goes the way of hockey due to lack of fan interest(read: all the white people finally get fed-up and quit watching), you'll know exactly where the blame lies.

THEN, there's Major League Baseball. These jerkoffs have fucked up my beloved American pastime to be damned. "Now looka here son, if that there pitcher thows a pitch you don't like, you just charge right on out there and commence to whuppin' on his ass." Every father in America might as well be telling that to their kids, cuz that's what our kids are learning from watching a modern day professional baseball game. (Just FYI, if I would have ever been able to realize my childhood dream of becoming a major league pitcher, not only would I have been the first pitcher in baseball history to charge the batters box, I would have thrown at Barry Bonds' head in the on-deck circle (not to mention the batters box and probably the goddamn dugout), I fucking HATE that smug, 'roid-ridden' piece of shit.)

See, I have this theory about sports nowadays. Major athetics no longer encourage "team principles." Look at the NBA. It used to be that in the team sports, the best TEAM won. You know, encourage values like teamwork, sacrificing for the greater good, working harder than your competition. Beating them any way you could. As a TEAM. Hmmmm, I wonder how many corporate success stories are based on those very same ethics and values. Now in the NBA, it's clear out and let *insert superstar prima-donna of choice* make a beautiful acrobatic, athletic move and either dunk the ball, hit a beautiful jumper, or miss the shot and turn and glare at the officials like they just heard the "N" word in an Alabama Evangelical Church. Very entertaining at times, but it encourages nothing but selfishness.

And that's why I'm so fucking pissed off about all this shit. There is rarely anything about the modern day athlete that INSPIRES. I want my sons to be able to have sports heroes, just as I did as a kid. But, unfortunately there just aren't too many.

Thank God for Tom Brady and LeBron James.

(until the day when we find out Brady is gay and LeBron is hooked on crack)

I'm whiskytangofoxtrot, and I just want to be able to watch a game with my boys without having to explain why somebody is being led away in fricken' handcuffs. Is that so much to ask?

Mental floss

2005-02-15T05:24:00.000-05:00

This originally started as a rant for here, but then morphed into a Pushforcoin rant....sorry.
(for some reason, the fact that I could actually get paid caish wampum for this kind of stuff keeps creeping into my thought processes..lol) Anyways, here it is, I apologize for not being smart 'nuff to make the linky things or put pictures here on the blog.

Now, I'm no writer. (no duh genius, thanks for the extry- special GLIMPSE into your life) I never kept a journal, never "wrote things down", hell I can't begin to remember the last letter I wrote, it's been so long...lol

But, for some reason, somebody liked what I had to say (just by reading some things I posted on a in internet forum. What can I say...Long Live the Internet!! Hooray!) enough to ask me to write some stuff for their website. "MMmmmmokay", I thought, what the hell have I got to lose? After all, they're not gonna pay me right off the bat sooooooooo.........fuck it, i'll have a go. If I suck, I can always plead stupidity and that will be that.

But then something happened. I began to realize the theraputic benefits of "downloading" all the junk that collects in my mental "temporary interworld cache" onto the "junk folder of life" known as www.pushforcoin.com.

Now I don't want any of you reading this to think that I'm ripping on you at all. This site (meaning the P4C) has it's advantages and dis-advantages just like anything else in life. If you like to "rough up your suspect" or "teach yourself the secret handshake" to pictues of hot, nekkid, disposable blonde-bots with little or no body hair, then scooter, you've come to the right place. Or, lets say you prefer to "assault your friendly weapon" or engage in a little "man to gland combat" to vids of sperm burpin' gutter-sluts. Then, right this way sir, we can certainly accomodate you. Click on any of the links (the links over there on the left, you glaze-covered drooling idiot) and you're sure to find enough eye-candy to spank yourself silly with. Like I said, not ripping on you at all.

And just so the ladies out there don't think we here at the P4C are total pigs (Yes, I get emails all the time cuz we don't have any links for the girls. First of all, I'm trying...lol...GET OFFA ME...it's not my site, I just provide reading material for those of you NOT engaged in "gnarfling your garthog" at the moment.) You ladies can jump onto the forums here at the P4C and make yourselves heard, trust me, DicB checks those pretty regularly and if enough of you got in his "cyberface" about it, he'd be daffy not to hook you up, right? Ain't living in a democracy great? Innit? I think so. But let's move on, shall we?

In "wrapping this up", remember kiddies, that the 'net is big and bad and fun and dangerous and scary and everything else too, all rolled up into a big ol' fat brain joint just waiting to be smoked. And there is a place for all of us, even me, "Mr. nice guy" AND my alter ego, "Mr. Angry White Male who has NO patience for idiocy and wants to bash your fucking head in for being so stupid and probably reproducing other little moronic stupids just like you (v2.0) who are only gonna clutter things up and make it EVEN tougher on the rest of us". Ummm...sorry....that's what happens when he pops out, he goes on a total rampage and then just like that, he's outta here. Me too.

That's my story,
and i'm stuck to it.

*disclaimer*

whiskytangofoxtrot wants you to know that even though most of you really piss him
off, he loves you anyway.

Now go and click on some links so I can afford to buy my kid the G.I.Joe w/ the
kung-fu grip.

If her name is Tennile, then what do I call you, scooter?

2005-02-12T02:09:00.000-05:00

I just downloaded the full version of Trillian (thanks D) and man is it super nifty keen-0 bitchen'thrashin'shreddin.

So while I was setting up all the cool bells and whistles and schtuffies, my buddy Cody from Amarillo IM's me. It seems that Trillian mooshes (technical term) all your contacts together (if you use several addresses, which i do...i'm dark and mysterious) and so he was indignantly IM'ing me wanting to know just who in the heck I was. They say words like "heck" in Amarillo, it's one of the reasons I love it there, loved living there, and one day will move back. So anyways, ol' Scrody Cody-Odie proceeds to catch me up on what's been happening since we hadn't talked in a while.

It seems my buddy has a girlfriend.

It also seems that her name is "Tennile". As SOON as I saw it, I couldn't help myself....

"Dude, you are SO gonna be forever called The Captain".

Of course, his retort was immediately directed at questioning my sexuality, inasmuch as a one word comment could do. (I quickly pointed out to him that it was not I that would be, "doin the jitterbug down in muskrat land") It was at this point that my so-called friend, cordially invited me to violently introduce the aforementioned muskrat into a stinky no-no place.

Even though it WAS a Friday night, I politely declined.

Needless to say, after that it was open season on muskrat jokes, fake captain hat jokes, and a whoooooooooooole slew of "Do that to me one more time" zingers, then his patience ran out.

Pussy. lol

Anyways, I'm just starting to tap the random stream of conscienceness blithering here, so any feedback is appreciated. And to my buddy Cody with MUCH LOVE BROTHAH.....

you da caaaaaaaaaaaaptain....

Goodnight Ms.Ockmoneck, wherever you are!!

The evil midnight ranter what rants at midnight!

2005-02-11T17:15:00.000-05:00

The evil midnight ranter what rants at midnight!

Hey all, until I get a little more of this figured out, There are two "observations" posted on www.pushforcoin.com

Now understand, I was asked to provide material and have NO control over any pics or other material on the site. I only mention this because there are a few pics on the site I would rather they not have "associated" with my stuff, but hey, you get paid ya money ya takes ya chances.

"ya done it, ya blogged the tater"

If you don't know who Ron White is, ooze out from under your rock and laugh along with the rest of us, if all of us are laughing together they don't know who to take the medication away from.

whiskytangofoxtrot is "blogged in".....(finally)

2005-02-11T11:41:00.000-05:00

Well, here I are kiddies, (finally!) dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

Thanks for keeping it tidy till I got here, now I can proceed to fuck everything up to be damned.

No thanks will be necessary at all, it's what I do best.